I think Straits Times provides me with an endless source of amusement. It is a fantastic study in contrasts.

On the front page of Friday's paper, there was this huge article about this China girl who perservered in speaking only English to her teacher, and ended up mastering English and getting A* in English for PSLE. Cue hearty applause and admiration.

On the next page, the headlines screamed: "IT IS OKAY TO USE ENGLISH TO TEACH CHINESE!!!!!"

Yes, because people who stubbornly stick to trying to learn a language the "pure" way never succeed in life, or more importantly, PSLE.

The papers today were even more amusing. "People who play Facebook do badly in exams!!!111" (Interestingly, they said that Facebook users get lower GPAS, as compared to non-Facebook users, who get GPAs between 3.5-4.0. I use Facebook and my GPA is within that range. LOL.)

So after a long article on the dangers Facebook poses to one's life, the next page ran an advert: "PLAY XXXX GAME ON FACEBOOK NOW!!!"

On another note, I find it rather strange that there are actually people who dare to write in to the papers about being a failure, and are actually even -gasp- self-righteous about it. I'm pointing fingers at Mdm Pauline Tan, a stellar example of the sheer dogged determination we have managed to inculcate in today's generation.

"Oh, my, do you mean that if I want to improve my son's Chinese, he will actually have to work hard?! This is ridiculous! I am so migrating."

Because, yes, it is completely logical to uproot your entire family (not to mention shut down the family business) and move to Australia because your son didn't have the balls to work hard in Chinese.

Mdm Pauline Tan and her son are exemplary role models of the saying "When the going get tough, the tough get going... to Australia."

It is really sad that we are actually tutting in sympathy for her, and sharing tales of Chinese teachers whose methods seem to be bordering on child abuse, from what I've heard. But then again, the only time I ever saw my Chinese teacher scold someone was because they didn't do their homework, and of course, that's not the student's fault for being lazy, is it?

In P4, Ms Khoo threw Science files across the room because we didn't do filing properly. It's kind of funny how we don't see people exposing the other things that other subject teachers have done to them.

Sigh. I was just reading the ST forums and this person called commentator_sc or something like that is super annoying. You know, Mr commentator, maybe people would actually take you more seriously IF YOU DIDN'T WRITE A WHOLE POST IN CAPS BECAUSE IT GETS KIND OF HARD TO READ AFTER THE FIRST 1 BILLION SENTENCES. YES, REALLY. Plus he is anti-government for the sake of being anti-government, and that is REALLY annoying. I sincerely I hope never come off like that to others.

clandestine kisses ;
9:37 PM;

OMG THE XKCD STORE IS NOW SHIPPING FOR CHRISTMAS!!!

I really really really want one of those Tech Support Cheat Sheet shirts, and I'll wear that to every single place I go. When people ask me for tech support, I will then look up at them very slowly, point down at my shirt, and give them a totally condescending sneer.

And don't even get me started on xkcd Volume 0.

OOOOOH and the "I'm not slacking off, my code's compiling" shirt. I have always been a huge fan of that comic. You can tell by looking at the back of my file, which I carry around all the time as a mantra to myself that I really ought to practice coding.

Heh and I like that shirt which is supposed to be witty in order to seduce someone. :D If I got it, I would wear it and stand next to people with stupid slogans on their shirts. Just like xkcd suggests we do.

Haha looking back on comic #23, there are more interesting witty shirt slogans. I think I shall make one that says "Do I LOOK like a people person?" on the front, and when you turn around, it says "Oh god I'm so alone."

I do so love reading back xkcd comics. "Why do you love me?" "My heart never gave me the chance." "Aww." "... I wish it had."

clandestine kisses ;
10:34 PM;

clandestine kisses ;
11:06 AM;

Rachel has been spreading disinformation about me via Social Interview, and sad to say I can't retaliate in kind because she already HAS a boyfriend whom half the world knows about (for the other sad half, it's Kester, and please get out from under that rock because if you don't know, you are really Sad.)

So anyway, I shall seek to quell the rumours that she has been spreading by coming clean.

NO, I do not like "weasels and that sort". I have a great boyfriend who I've been keeping a secret from all of you because of his sheer awesomeness, because as soon as I tell you who he is girls all around him will go weak-kneed and attempt to seduce him. But in light of disturbing circumstances, I have been forced to tell -sniff-

His skin is like marble, very pale, rather cold to the touch, and it sparkles in the sunlight. His facial features are perfect and angular-- high cheekbones, strong jawline, straight nose, full lips. His hair is a beautiful bronze shade in the sunlight (totally sets off his sparkly skin) and for some reason, always messy.

Also, he is extremely fit. He has near superhuman strength, speed, endurance and agility.

And that's not all. He is extremely musical and can play the piano like a virtuoso. And he likes all sorts of music, except country (o.O)

SO RACHEL. This is the end of my long and impassioned response to you, as I told you I would put up. I am clearly not crushing on Wesley, because I already have a near perfect sparkly boyfriend. (: SO STOP TRYING TO LUMP ME TOGETHER WITH HIM ALREADY!!

clandestine kisses ;
8:43 PM;

Now I kind of get why adults are always harping on about a generation gap, and just can't seem to figure out how to work things that we take for granted, like Facebook or blogger.

Because I was just looking through the whole stack of HC Mediatech resources that Joel sent me, and was mentally going, "WTF. WTF. WTF." I didn't UNDERSTAND half the questions, not to mention know the answers.

There was this one about feedback which embarrassed me a whole lot, because I've always thought that we were pretty good at getting rid of feedback after getting Mr Lee as a teacher IC (hahaha I still remember he taught us how to CREATE feedback.) but I read the question and it was like, "There is feedback everytime the speaker pronounces an 's' sound. What should you do? a) Boost 500Hz b) Cut 1kHz c) slit your throat d) smash the mixer"

Okay uh not really, but the getting-rid-of-feedback method which we have in RGS, which I always thought was pretty awesome, feels like banging two rocks together to try to create a spark in comparison to this. I mean, seriously, we twiddle all the knobs and hope for the best. Alternatively mute the person and call the technician over ><

And okay maybe it's just my generation (meaning Crystal and I, the original AV Batch 10) but our methods are very... untechnical, as compared to HC. Sure, Mr Lee's been trying to get us to call the mics B6es instead of countrymans, or -gasp- the small flesh-coloured ones! and the Sennheisers ME4s instead of "the black furry one" or the more classic "PCK mole one". He nearly had a coronary the last time we called it that :/

While the juniors seem to have no problem adapting to the world of Competency And Professionalism And More Importantly, Calling Stuff By The Right Name, Crystal and I are still stuck in the Stone Age of "you know, that thing you push up and down that makes the volume increase or decrease".

If you're reading this Joel, you guys totally have my respect.

--

4th place!! (:

clandestine kisses ;
9:59 PM;

There are times when I hate being the resident tech support of my family, because whatever technological knowledge I have is usually based on common sense. Like, I know the red cable goes into the red hole, because IT JUST DOES.

And of course, following xckd's tech support flowchart gives the people the impression that I actually know what I'm doing, when I'm about as clueless as them.

But then again, there are times I'm really glad I'm the resident tech support, because it means that the rest of my family is correspondingly tech-illiterate (my dad was amazed that my cousins saw my photos on Facebook. He thought it meant I was becoming a celebrity)

Because people do tend to snigger a little when they realise that AV people do bust their speakers too. And then they snigger even more when they realise that the busting of the speakers wasn't a cool move to prove that I COULD if I wanted to, but it was a complete accident and I didn't even realise until 12 hours later.

I was listening to The Emo Song (not even a particularly shouty song, so I really don't get how it happened) when there was this little click and there was suddenly no more sound. I didn't really give it much thought since I was getting sick of the song anyway, so I just turned off my speakers.

Now there's no sound at all, and I can't listen to Hannah Montana. ._.

clandestine kisses ;
2:05 PM;

I've heard of people feeling nostalgic and going, "ahhhh, the good old days. How innocent and cute we were back then awww." whenever they read their diaries. But personally I've never experienced that. I was reading my old diaries (those that I found, anyway) and all I could feel was thoroughly embarrassed. Like, "oh gosh, I was such a twat." I would have hated myself if I'd known me.

In P5, I was going through a Simple Plan phase and my diary entries all went something along the lines of: "Dear Diary. Mood: Apathetic. My life is spiralling downwards. My parents wouldn't let me go to the..." Well, no, not really, but Simple Plan lyrics featured prominently. And scarily, I actually MEANT them.

In P6, I was going through a I-want-a-boyfriend phase. My entries detailed all encounters with the crush of the moment. "27.8.06. XXX walked past me on the stairs!! Do you think he likes me?!?!?!" Never mind that my diary obviously wasn't any help as a love consultant. And I was like changing crushes practically every 3 days or something. Gosh I couldn't help sneering at how dumb my old self was. Not that I don't sneer at practically everything nowadays, but I sneered extra hard.

In Sec 1, I was an annoying chirpy little brat who filled my entries with distended smiley faces which ended up looking kind of like two dots on top of a rather fail-looking straight line (it was supposed to be a curved line, but it was so long it looked like a drunk person drawing a straight line) and I diaried only during lessons, which made my diary entries extremely fail.

"Dear Diary :))))
Today I am happy because

ENGLISH NARRATIVE WRITING:
Third person(name, she, he, etc), first person (I), second person (you)
Mostly third and first person are used for narratives.
Second person used to directly address reader (eg in recipes)

I have fun lessons today :)))))))) Like Japanese. :)))))) I like Japanese because

Questions:
Why do stories exist in the first place?
What are stories? What functions do they have?
What constitutes a story?

it is very fun :)))))) I know some words in Japanese now :))))))))"

Gosh I feel like slapping the Sec 1 me.

Not that these are real entries (I would hardly be likely to tell you what I ACTUALLY wrote, would I?) but Bryanlee is stressing me and pestering me to hurry up with this blogpost, so I shall end abruptly here. They're a good enough approximation, anyway. (:

clandestine kisses ;
8:13 PM;